Like We Used To
by laurapreponfan
Summary: Sequel to Oblivion. What if a person from your past comes back and changes everything? Vauseman A/U
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters.

I don't know what I think about this chapter. What I do know is that I'm a little rusty 'coz I haven't written in a while. So if it isn't as good as you're expecting, apologies. I'll work on it. =)

Also, I'm pretty sure you'll figure it out but just to be certain, italics are flashbacks.

 **1**

Piper still couldn't believe her own eyes. After four months of spending her time, energy, tears and sweat, after endless arguments with her best friend, after months of thinking this was never going to sail, Popi, a store of artisanal baths and soaps she shared with Polly was finally open. It wasn't huge but Piper was aware this was only the beginning, the start towards success. And she refused to believe otherwise.

Looking around, every corner of the small store reminded her of those days when she almost gave up, almost believing her mother's own words, _"You're just wasting your time and money and energy on something that would clearly fail."_ Piper knew that if there was only one thing that was getting in her way of finishing what she started, it was her tendency to go back to that person she used to be, that person who let others' words bring her down ( _others_ mostly meant her mom who seemed like nothing Piper ever did was good enough.)

But there was also that other thing that pushed her to not give up, that soft whisper in her ear that told her she could do this. And as hard as it was to admit it to herself, that _other thing_ was far from being a _thing_ because it was a _who_. It was a person she met years ago, the only one who was able to let Piper believe that she was so much more than what she was led to believe for so many years. That person's voice was what kept Piper going, and here she was, standing inside the proof that it was all true. _She could do it on her own, too._

-o-o-o-

 _Piper tried calming herself as she made her way to the apartment she shared with her girlfriend, but as she slammed the door shut, she realized she was still fuming, her hands almost shaking as it craved to be smacked against a hard surface, if only it meant having been able to release some of the anger she couldn't let out before she left her parents' place._

 _"Everything okay?" her girlfriend, Alex, who was sitting on the couch watching television asked as her head whipped towards her, worry flashing through her face. She immediately turned the tv off and made her way towards her._

 _"I... hate... her!" Piper said slowly, gritting her teeth as she let Alex rub her arms soothingly, the gesture instantly calming her down._

 _"Your mom?"_

 _"Who else?" Piper sighed as she buried her face on the crook of Alex's neck, the raven-haired's arms instantaneously enveloping her. "I went there because I thought we were gonna have a nice dinner, me, her and dad. I can't believe I actually thought she just wanted to spend time with me!"_

 _"What happened?" Alex asked, pulling away from Piper so she could tuck a few strands of Piper's hair behind her ear. Her other arm was still wrapped around Piper protectively, and Piper wondered why she chose to waste her time with her parents than just be with Alex the whole day. That would have been a whole lot better._

 _"Nothing much, except her using the entire time to remind me of everything I'm failing to do in llife. I swear to God, Alex. Of everything I do, the only thing she remembers is what I didn't do, I'm just so fucking exhausted of hearing her say how much of a failure I am."_

 _"Hey, don't listen to her." Alex cupped her face guiding it to face her and the intensity of those beautiful green eyes looking at her kept Piper calm. "You're not a failure, Pipes. You're gonna do great and one day you're going to shove that in her face, okay? You're amazing babe, it's her loss she can't see that."_

 _Alex then kissed Piper on the cheek and the latter found herself smiling, realizing only Alex could do that, make her smile when all she wanted to do was break everything she could get a hold of. "Thank you."_

 _"For what?" Alex asked, confusion etched on her face._

 _"For being here, I don't know what I would do without you."_

 _"Become miserable, of course."_

 _Piper knew Alex was only joking. But deep inside, she also knew that it was true. Without Alex, she was one hundred percent sure she wasn't going to be anything but that._

-o-o-o-

"Piper!"

Piper's train of thoughts were suddenly interrupted as Polly shook her bringing her back to the present. She was surprised by where her mind suddenly went as she had not allowed herself to think of Alex for as long as she could remember and doing it had frozen her to her spot, surprised that the woman still had this effect on her.

"Where on earth did you just go? I've called you three times."

"S-sorry, I was just... I was just thinking."

"Clearly. Thinking about what?"

"About how I still can't believe Popi is finally open," Piper faked a smile, the lie easily coming out of her lips. She's perfected it, lying to everyone around her. She'd been doing it for so long she wasn't sure she even knew where the truth ended and the lies began anymore. "I'm just really happy. Sorry, what where you saying?"

Polly seemed to have bought this as a huge grin emanated from her lips. "I'm really happy, too, Pipe. This almost caused us our friendship, this better work out for the both of us."

Piper laughed at the truthfulness of what Polly had just said, knowing full well that it had happened a lot of times, what with her temper and Polly not knowing when to just stop pushing her buttons. But they both loved each other too much to let their friendship go to waste, and Popi on its way to success (well that's what Piper would like to believe) was just one great added reward for them on not giving up on it and on each other, most especially.

The bell suddenly chimed and both heads snapped towards the door, excited for their seemingly first customer. But their faces immediately fell when they saw who it was, realizing it wasn't actually a customer who came in.

"It's one thing to see your girlfriend's best friend's face fall when you arrive, it's a _whole_ other thing when it's your girlfriend who seems so disappointed to see you," Larry walked towards Piper, giving her a chaste kiss as she settled two cups of coffee on the counter.

Piper chuckled, giving her boyfriend of two years an apologetic look. "Sorry, we thought you were a customer. Hi, how are you?"

"I'm good, just passing by to check in on you guys before I have to go to this meeting." He then looked around and looked back at Piper with a huge smile on his face, "I'm really proud of you, hon. Sorry I'm not who you're both expecting though."

"No, it's okay," answered Polly, "...this coffee definitely made up for it," she said as she took a sip of coffee Larry just brought them. "Oh my God," she moaned as she drank, "this is fucking good, where did you get this?"

"Uh, this cafe just across your place," Larry gestured outside and true enough there was a cafe that Piper and Polly surprisingly haven't noticed before.

"What?" asked Piper as she looked outside to where Larry just pointed at, "there's a cafe right across us? How come I never noticed? Did you?" she asked her best friend.

"Nope," Polly took another sip and _moaned_ again, obviously still enjoying her cup of coffee.

"You really need to get laid, Pol. You can't always have coffee bringing you to orgasm, it's starting to become a little weird."

Larry chuckled watching the two women interact before answering Piper's earlier question. "As a matter of fact, there is a cafe right across you. It's just opened, too, I think. I guess you were both too preoccupied with Popi to notice."

"True, but yey! This is going to be my life-saver from now on," commented Polly, continuing to enjoy her coffee. "Hey, do you think we can go over there and give the owner something? You know, to be friends or whatever nice gesture expected from people these days."

"That's actually a great idea! I guess coffee does give you more than an orgasm. Maybe we should go over there later and meet the owner. It'd be nice to have friends around here."

"You've said the word orgasm twice in less than five minutes. Do you need one or something? Larry, aren't you giving Piper enough?"

"Aaaand that's my cue to leave," Larry faced Piper and gave her another chaste kiss on the cheek. "I gotta go, if this works out they'd be publishing my article on New York Times so wish me luck!"

"Good luck! You're gonna get it, I'm sure of it."

"Thanks Hon. And Polly, no more coffee for you. Bye guys!"

Polly waited until Larry had left the store before telling Piper what's on her mind. "So, he still doesn't have a job?"

Piper rolled her eyes at Polly, expecting this question from her as soon as Larry had left. She turned her back on her not really in the mood for this conversation that seemed to have become Polly's favorite the past few weeks. "Polly, I'm really having a great day. Please don't start."

"I'm serious, Piper. It's been way too long, he has to do something."

Realizing she's not getting out of this, Piper took a deep breath and went to face her best friend again. "He is. Didn't you hear him? If this meeting turns out well, he's gonna get his article published and it can only go uphill from there."

"Sweetheart, I love you and therefore I love him, too, but he's been waiting for that article to be published for months now. I'm not saying he should quit, but at least look for other jobs while he's pursuing his writing career, just for the mean time. With that, I mean he needs to stop depending on his parents and start standing on his own feet. And I don't think he'd realize that until you say something to him."

Piper sighed knowing Polly had a point. It had been months since Larry's last job, deciding that he needed to focus on his writing. And it had also been months that he was trying without anything really coming out of it. Piper knew she had to support him with whatever it was that he thought he needed to do, and so that's she did.

But that also meant her watching Larry's parents take control of a lot of things about their relationship just because they were helping him financially. And Larry thought they shouldn't mind because he owed them something.

And Piper hated it because it was all becoming too familiar, having her relationship controlled by something, _someone,_ else, letting it happen when Piper knew she could do something about it.

So yeah, if Piper wanted this to work, maybe she really did need to talk to Larry now.

-o-o-o-

 _"Hi, how was your trip?" were the first words that came out of Alex's lips when Piper entered their apartment. But the first thing she noticed was how her eyes lit up and how her lips broke into a smile the moment she saw Piper. It was so beautiful it's heartbreaking to realize that she had lied to her girlfriend about where she'd really gone, again._

 _"It was fun! Polly's kinda crazy so there was really no dull moment. How are you?" Piper let Alex hug and kiss her, the guilt knotting in her stomach painfully but she couldn't tell Alex that she wasn't actually with Polly but with her family. She was certain that if Alex knew this, she'd open the topic about when she would meet them again and Piper didn't have any other excuses for her not to notice that Piper might not ever be ready for her family to meet Alex._

 _Piper also knew that it was hurting their relationship, these constant lies and all the secrets she was keeping from Alex. But she's made herself believe that if she chose to do the other thing, if she decided to tell her family about Alex, she was surely gonna end up choosing between the two and there was no way in hell she was letting that happen._

 _"I'd say I'm great but I missed you for days so, I don't know."_

 _"Aw, sorry babe. I'm here now," Piper kissed Alex and tucked herself to her side, wanting to be as close to her as possible. They were drifting apart, she knew it. And she tried to fool herself that this physical closeness was enough for them to get back to how they used to be._

 _It was pathetic how she was letting this fear of not being accepted by her own blood control how her relationship with someone she truly cared about would go. It was stupid because she wasn't letting it move forward at all._

 _But for now, these lies and secrets were the lesser of two evil and until she could figure out a way on how to have one without losing the other, it was gonna have to stay this way._

 _Though that was before Piper realized that by choosing to do this, she was actually on her way to losing more than what she thought she would._

-o-o-o-

Time passed by quickly and soon enough, Piper and Polly were closing for the day. As far as all first days went, the former thought they had a pretty good day and it just raised her hopes even higher about this being a complete success.

Remembering what she and Polly talked about earlier about visiting the cafe right across Popi to be friends with the owner, or owners whatever the case may be, they both decided to do it together to give some welcoming present but Polly had to back out at the very last minute, saying she had an emergency date with a guy she recently met, not really explaining what _emergency date_ meant.

So here Piper was, just about to enter the cafe called Litch Cafe on her own, contemplating whether it was a good idea to do this on her own. But before she could back out, a blonde girl about 5'6 tall wearing a black shirt with black leather jacket, ripped skinny jeans and huge smile on her face approached her.

"Hi, welcome to Litch! Is there anything I can help you with?"

The woman seemed really pleasant that Piper realized it wouldn't be hard for them to be good friends. She looked around for a second and the place looked so cozy and comfy that she wouldn't be surprised if she ended up hanging out here more often than anyone would have anticipated.

"Hi, I'm Piper," Piper extended her arm to shake the other woman's hand and it was taken eagerly. "I own the store right across the street, Popi." They both looked outside before Piper faced the woman again, "... and I just came over to give you these," Piper then handed over a bag of their handmade soaps and lotions together with a bottle of wine, "as welcoming and congratulatory presents."

"Wow!" the woman looked at what Piper just handed her with a surprised look on her face and putting her palm over her chest, she looked back at Piper again, "...this is really sweet, thank you! I wish I could've given you something, too."

"No, it's fine, really." Piper shrugged like it was nothing, liking the genuine smile on the other woman's face.

"Please have a seat, what would you like to eat or drink? It's on the house. Oh! And I'm Paige, by the way. It's nice meeting you, Piper."

"It's nice meeting you, too, Paige. And I'd love to but I have to say no thank you for now 'coz I promised my boyfriend I'd be meeting him for dinner and I'm..." Piper then looked at her watch, "...ten minutes late. I just really wanted to give you those before I left."

"Oh, all right," Paige nodded, "...tomorrow then? I'm kind of new to this place and I'd really love to have new friends, you know."

"Of course! I'd come by tomorrow and I'm bringing my best friend, Polly, with me. We own the store together. So, see you tomorrow?"

"Definitely, my girlfriend is arriving tomorrow, so you can meet her, too."

At the mention of the word _girlfriend_ , Piper found her mind drifting to that one particular person again, that same person she really didn't want to think about anymore. But she always ended up getting lost in her thoughts of Alex no matter how hard she tried denying herself that. And right now, that was the last thing she needed.

"Piper? Are you okay? You seemed lost there for a minute."

Piper was snapped back to reality once more as Paige lightly held her shoulder. "Yeah! Sorry, I just... uh, I better get going. See you tomorrow?"

"Yes. Bye!"

-o-o-o-

"So, how'd your first day go?"

Piper was finally having dinner with Larry at their apartment after around thirty minutes of being late. Their dinner was prepared and cooked by Larry and it was one of those things she really loved about him. He knew how to take care of her and he did it really well.

She met him about two and a half years ago through Polly's then boyfriend, and for a second, Piper thought they'd never hit it off. Larry was the very opposite of what Piper looked for in a person. He followed every rule, he always did what was expected of him, and he was too conventional to the point where he came off as too dull.

In short, he was exactly like Piper and Piper was sure that wasn't the kind of person she needed to be with.

But he was persistent and he was able to show Piper how much he really cared and that he could be _good_ for her. So instead of forcing herself to look for who she thought she needed, Piper decided to give it a try with Larry.

Until simple dates turned into an official relationship, until they decided to move in together, until today and here they were, two years into a safe, conventional relationship. But Piper didn't really found any will to complain... because it was working. And that's all she could really ever ask for anymore.

"It was great! I really think this would work. I hope so, or everything would be put to waste."

"I believe in you, and this will work."

Larry squeezed her hand and Piper found herself smiling. Even though there was a nagging feeling inside her that told her she needed _more_ than this. She's never felt this in a while and she didn't understand why she was feeling it now. So she ignored and pretended that everything was exactly how she wanted it to be.

Why not when she was really good at that, _pretending_?

"Thanks, hon. How about you? How'd the meeting go? Would I be living with a published writer soon?" Piper smiled at him but Larry's face instantly fell and Piper knew the answer before he even started speaking. "Ah, don't worry about it. I believe in you, too, and I'm sure that time will come soon."

Piper knew it was the opportunity to talk to him about this, about his career and life choices. This was the right time to tell him about how this was affecting her and their relationship. But Larry smiled and Piper thought she didn't really wanna ruin that tonight.

So instead of talking, she smiled back at him and decided to pretend another night that all was well.

Maybe the _talk_ could wait. Right now, she needed to _pretend_.

-o-o-o-

Piper and Larry had gone to bed for about an hour now but sleep kept evading Piper. Accepting that she wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon, she slowly got up not wanting to wake her boyfriend up and headed for the living room where she opened the television but muted the sound not really interested in watching anything.

It's been four years since she last saw Alex. During all those years, she never really stopped thinking about her, about what could have been if she got on that plane with her. She always wondered why and that was the worst part about all of it, those _what if's_ and the fact that she'd never really know _._

But Piper knew that there was no taking back whatever choices she made so she decided to move on. For a while, it was difficult. She couldn't date guys thinking she wanted the softness of a woman, or everything a woman could give that men couldn't. So she only dated women but none of those worked, too.

That's when Piper accepted that it wasn't what a woman had that she needed, it was _Alex_ she still craved for. She missed her and she was all Piper could think about for so long until she met Larry.

Larry was everything Alex wasn't. And Piper did not know how it worked between the two of them but it did. Until she started thinking about Alex less each day, getting to the point when she'd realized she could start a life without Alex, a life with someone else.

That did not mean she never thought of her anymore, though. She still did but she mostly managed to keep it to a minimum, just in passing. But there were also those times when she would slip and let her thoughts drift to Alex a little longer, just like _today_. And Piper did not understand why she was thinking of her again, why she was keeping her from falling asleep.

She'd like to think it was because it was the opening of Popi and that was a dream she always shared with Alex before, a dream Alex always told her would come true. And now it had.

Or maybe it was because of Paige, too, and her mention of her girlfriend.

But maybe it could be because she simply missed Alex, missed her more than usual.

Because if Piper was being honest to herself, she knew she never really stopped missing Alex, and she had no idea whether she ever really would, no matter how much she tried.

-o-o-o-

Piper and Polly were closing for the day and just like yesterday, today had been a success. That was the reason Piper was feeling really happy until Polly decided to take that away from her by opening her mouth.

"So, did you talk to Larry?"

"I kind of didn't have a choice, Pol. How weird would it be if I didn't just _speak_ to my boyfriend?"

"Stop being a smartass, and of course, you didn't. Piper, you keep doing this. You need to talk to him now." Polly gave Piper that 'you're-not-getting-out-of-this' look and Piper couldn't do anything else but sigh.

"I know, but we were having a really great night last night and I didn't want to ruin it by rubbing in his face how much _failing_ he's been doing lately."

"Yes, but if you keep doing that, it's not only gonna be one of your nights that's gonna be ruined. It'd be your entire relationship when you've grown to despise him because he keeps letting his parents dictate your relationship."

Piper was planning to defend herself, and Larry, too, but Polly continued, not looking like she was gonna be interrupted anytime soon.

"I know you, Piper. I know how much you _hate_ it that you can't have a place of your own because Larry's parents want you to use one of their apartments. I know how much you _hate_ it that you can't choose what color your curtains are gonna be because Larry's Mom might not like it. You may not admit it Piper, but you've cut your own parents off from your life because they kept controlling your life and yet here you are, with Larry's parents, letting them do the exact same thing."

Piper didn't know whether to be grateful or to hate it that Polly knew her too well but she kept quiet, waiting for her to finish whatever it was that she needed to say, all the while contemplating why she really allowed for things to reach this point.

"You don't wanna hurt him with the truth, I get it. But you'd end up hurting him more and most especially yourself, if you don't do anything about this soon."

"I know, you're right. And I will talk to him. I promise. It's just... it's not easy, okay? I'm trying to find the right time but I'll do it soon. Don't worry. Thanks, Pol."

"You're welcome. God, Piper. Where will you be without me?"

Piper chuckled before shoving Polly lightly. "Whatever. And anyway, can't you really make it to Paige's again tonight? I told her I'd bring you."

"Oh about that! I forgot to tell you, I already met her earlier. I went in to buy coffee and she introduced herself. And she's really nice. I like her."

"I know. Me, too."

"Yeah, so she already knows I can't make it tonight, you'll be fine."

"Great, okay. So I guess I'm gonna have to meet her girlfriend on my own. See you tomorrow, then?"

"Wait, what? She's a lesbian?"

Piper hinted the surprised and _judging_ tone in Polly's voice and she was reminded why she also never told her about Alex before. She felt slightly hurt by this, too, because even if she didn't really consider herself as gay, not believing in putting a label on anyone, she couldn't help but feel like Polly was judging her, too.

"Yes, is there a problem with that?"

"No, of course not. I mean, I'm just a little surprised coz she doesn't look like one."

"No? 'Coz it sounds to me like you're judging her."

"I'm _not_ judging her. I'm not a homophobic bitch, you know. What's it with you anyway, you're a vanguard of the LGBT community now?"

"Nothing, never mind. I'll just see you tomorrow, okay?" Piper ended the conversation because knowing Polly, she'd soon say something that would really piss Piper off and she didn't need any drama tonight.

"Yep, bye. I love you!"

"Yeah, whatever. I mean, I love you, too. And tell him to wear protection, in case he forgets."

Piper watched Polly walk away as she raised her middle finger. Shaking her head, she made her way towards the other side of the street. She noticed how the sign at the door already said "Closed" and she wondered whether it was because she was coming over or if it was because Paige's girlfriend had arrived.

Either way, she was a little disappointed that there wouldn't be any other person when she'd meet her girlfriend. She wasn't sure if it wouldn't be awkward meeting her but other people around would have had helped just in case. She liked Paige but she didn't know if that was going to be the case with the girlfriend, too. And she didn't wanna ruin any potential friendship with the blonde just because she couldn't stand the woman she was in a relationship with.

Before she could raise her hand to knock on the door, Paige had spotted her and went her way to the door to open it. "Hi! You made it!"

"Yeah, Polly said you already met her? And that you also already know that she can't make it?"

"Yes, I did. And I do. Too bad, though. It'd be great if she met my girlfriend, too. But maybe next time."

"Of course, we have all the time in the world," Piper smiled as she looked around the cafe. "I see you closed early?"

"Yes, I decided it'd be better if we had dinner outside, you know, get to know each other more. It'd be rude if I just offered you frappe and cheesecake for dinner."

"You didn't have to, I didn't wanna bother you. I mean, I would've been fine here," said Piper worried that she got in the way of Paige's business.

"Oh shut it, it's totally okay. I would have closed up early anyway, since you know, Alex is coming and all that."

Piper was about to sit when she heard the name and she felt like someone poured cold water all over her. She knew there was only a really slight chance of it becoming the _same_ Alex but she still couldn't help the sudden rapid beating of her heart hearing that name.

"I'm sorry, what? I'm not sure I heard you right."

"Alex, my girlfriend. She was stuck at the airport for hours so she couldn't make it earlier. But she's on her way here. She'd probably be here in about five minutes."

"Oh. Okay, great. That's great." Instead of sitting, Piper decided to stand, her nerves getting the best of her. She tried to ignore it and instead focused on the stories Paige told her as she went around her cafe fixing whatever it was that needed to be fixed.

But maybe life had a funny way of constantly reintroducing itself to Piper, of reminding her just how fucked up it was when she heard someone speak just behind her.

"So, I heard someone here missed me."

And Piper just found herself frozen to her spot as her world threatened to collapse around her because of that voice. People said that the first thing you forget about a person was the way she sounded, that it was the first thing that would slip from someone's memory.

But Piper couldn't agree, because that voice was something she never got around to forgetting. It's what kept haunting her dreams for years. It's a sound she hasn't heard in so long but still managed to make her heart skip a bit.

But now it's back.

And Piper didn't know just how much her life was going to change again because of it. Unsurprisingly, she wasn't sure she even really wanted to know.

-o-o-o-

 **A/N:**

So it's been way too long since I was last here. I'm sorry but again, life kinda got in the way. But anyway, I'll be updating this story every one or two week/s so you don't have to worry that it's gonna be abandoned. It's also a lot less dark than Shattered so no need for a supply of tissues, I guess.

Apologies to anyone reading Always and Forever. I don't know when and if I'll be able to continue that. I will do my best to do so, but for now this story is my priority.

So, hope you liked it. Would love to hear your thoughts about this one. =)


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:**

I know it's been way too long and I could never apologize enough for the delay. I hope this new chapter makes up for it.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters.

 **2**

 _"So I heard someone here missed me..."_

Alex's voice was the exact same way Piper remembered it to be. She didn't know how it was possible but it was like no time had passed and suddenly she was brought back to that first time they met, the exact moment she first heard the voice of the person she didn't know would change her entire world.

But then Paige started walking past her to greet Alex and Piper had no idea how long she had been standing there, seemingly losing track of time as she was shaken up by the fact that it would only take one turn and she would have to see the person she never thought she'd ever see again. She then wished for time to stop because she was nowhere close to having been prepared to face Alex. Not when she could still remember how things ended between them. Not when there's a huge chance that Alex hated her right now.

"Hi! I've been waiting for you all day. I have a friend I want you to meet." Paige's voice sounded excited and Piper didn't know what it was but she suddenly felt something strange inside her... and she didn't like it one bit.

Piper heard this from behind and she's never wished to be swallowed whole by the earth more than right now. She wanted to run, if only there was any way she could do that but she was stuck and she had no other choice but to face Alex, no matter what the outcome was going to be.

"Piper?" asked Paige.

When Piper was certain there was no way out of this, she breathed deeply and slowly turned around. She wanted to look everywhere but Alex but she found herself staring straight into those green eyes she used to love so much and Piper wasn't ready for the air leaving her lungs as Alex stared right back.

She also didn't fail to notice how Alex's jaw tensed and how her body turned rigid the moment she locked eyes with her but it only took her a heartbeat before her demeanour totally changed, giving Piper a huge smile that surprisingly made her heart skip a beat.

"So, this is Piper. Piper Chapman," Paige told Alex as she gestured her hand towards Piper.

Piper wanted to take in how Alex looked, to see all the changes she's gone through ever since they last saw each other but she couldn't bring herself to stare longer than a few seconds because of how Alex was looking at her. She was smiling, but her smile never reached her eyes. It was obvious that she was pretending for the sake of Paige and Piper couldn't help but feel a slight twinge in her chest because now she knew. When she was with Alex, all she ever did was deny her to everyone she knew and now Alex is doing the same thing.

And it _fucking_ hurt.

"So, Piper Chapman," the name rolled of Alex's tongue easily and Piper wondered how Alex must have felt speaking her name again. "It's nice to finally meet you. I'm Alex... Vause. But I guess you already know."

Alex stretched her hand towards Piper and for a while, Piper just stared at it, her heart beating rapidly against her chest because of Alex's last statement. Would she actually admit to Paige that she already knew her?

"I'm sure Paige has told you all about me," Alex continued and Piper found herself releasing a puff of air, somehow relieved that she _still_ didn't have to face the entire reality of explaining to Paige how she knew Alex.

"Y-yeah," Piper replied and she hated herself for how her voice almost cracked, her nerves obviously showing. "Nice to meet you, too... _Alex_."

Oblivious to what was going on between the two internally, Paige subtly clapped her hands as she looked from Alex to Piper. "Now that you two have met, dinner?"

When Piper was reminded why she was here, she suddenly felt panicked, certain that as unready as she was of seeing Alex again, she was way less ready to spend a lot more time with her, especially to have dinner with her and Paige, _her girlfriend_. So not caring if she was going to be too obvious at deliberately dodging to spend more time with them, she quickly thought of a way to get out of this.

"Uhh, I'm sorry I think I have to... ask for rain check tonight. It's my boyfriend, there's been an emergency."

Worry immediately flashed through Paige's face but Piper couldn't even bring herself to feel guilty about lying. "Larry? Is everything okay?"

Piper noticed how Alex cocked an eyebrow at the mention of Larry's name, and the blonde knew exactly why, but decided to ignore it even though Alex smirked, a little shake of head along with this. "Yes, I'm sorry. Next time?"

"Okay," Paige nodded as she walked with Piper towards the door. "Text me whenever, okay? I hope he's okay.

"Yeah, thanks. So, I should get going." Even though it was against her own liking, Piper forced herself to look at Alex one last time, "Nice to meet you again, Alex," she gave her a small smile and looked back at Paige as soon as she did, missing the impassive look on Alex's face.

"Likewise."

It was only when the cafe, and most especially Alex, that Piper started breathing properly, but she was surprised by the sudden stinging of her eyes. There had been days when she wished she'd see Alex again, days when she'd slip out of her defenses and hope for a time when she'd see the woman who once gave her everything she had. But she never imagined those days to be like this.

And as much as Piper tried to deny it to herself, the pain she felt was a total son of a bitch.

-o-o-o-

 _If Alex was being honest, she really thought Piper would come. Despite the past few months, even after all the fights and tears, she still chose to believe that Piper, the one who promised her she wouldn't ever leave her, would decide on making true to that promise. She refused to believe that she was capable of hurting her in ways Alex had never imagined because this was Piper. And Piper loved Alex._

 _But sitting her in the plane with the seat next to her empty, Alex couldn't help but wonder whether all those times she spent with Piper were all lies. Whether every word Piper ever said to her was nothing but fake promises or practiced deception. She couldn't help but wonder if Piper really did love her._

 _Because this hurt way too much and how pathetic would it be for Alex to spend much of her time getting over the pain of losing someone who didn't even give a fuck about her?_

 _Alex tried not to think of it much, thinking that Piper was just a girl, and that she'd one day forget about her. She tried to make herself believe that in spite of spending years of her life worshipping her, giving her all that she ever got, loving her in ways she's never loved anyone else, she'd one day forget all about her._

 _The way she smiled, the way her scent lingered even after she's gone, the sound of her laughter... Alex refused to accept that she'd never forget every little thing that she's grown accustomed to. She didn't want to think that someone who had hurt her this much would take so much from her that she wouldn't ever move on from it. No, Alex was going to forget about her and it may not be as soon as she'd wanted but she would._

 _And she only needed time._

-o-o-o-

Alex and Paige had gone to bed hours ago but Alex still kept tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep. She wanted to think it was because she was in a new bed, new place, new everything and that she was still just getting used to it all. But even she couldn't fool her own self because she knew it was because of _Piper_ and the fact that that reason she was so adamant of moving back to New York had made itself known to her the exact day she did just that.

Looking at Paige sleeping peacefully next to her, guilt crawled its way up to her chest and when she could no longer stand it, she got up and went out, needing to breathe in air that she seemed to have forgotten as soon as she saw Piper.

She and Paige met in LA a couple years ago. Right after Piper, she vowed to herself she'd never commit to anyone ever again, only hooking up with women who were the exact opposites of Piper, not wanting to be reminded of the only person she had ever allowed to break not only her heart but her entire existence, never staying with them for any time longer than a few weeks.

But then she met Paige and it was then that she realized she couldn't allow Piper to control her life anymore. She wasn't sure if it was because of Paige herself or whether she just really got tired of it all but when she decided to give it a try with her, she knew she made the right choice.

Everything after that had been nothing like Alex imagined. She always thought she'd take her time with Paige, not wanting to make the same mistakes she had when she was still with Piper, but then she found herself living with her only a few months after they started dating. Alex also thought there was no way in hell she was going back to New York but when Paige decided they'd be better off moving there, Alex agreed despite all her second thoughts about it, not wanting to have the opportunity to run into people she never really wanted to see again.

And here she fucking was.

Alex liked making herself believe that she's moved on from Piper, that she never wanted to do anything with her anymore. But what she never admitted to herself was even after she _thought_ she's freed herself from Piper, she never really did. Almost every decision she made was still _because_ of what happened with _Piper_. Almost everything she would do was anything she ever did with _Piper_. Almost everything in her life was still tainted with _Piper._

Alex had been refusing to accept this for as long as she could but when she was faced with _her_ again, it was like she was slapped with the reality of what she'd been doing all her life and she wasn't happy about it, not one bit. And right now, as _sleep_ tried to evade her, she swore to herself that she'd do something about it.

And that included never engaging in anything that had to do with Piper unless Paige was there. Piper had once ruined her life. She was never letting that happen again.

-o-o-o-

"Shit! I forgot I promised Piper I'd go visit her place today."

Alex was hanging out with her girlfriend at her cafe, passing time before she needed to start to work again. Alex was an importer of domestic furniture in LA but requested to be moved to her employer's New York branch so she could still work with their company. She was surprised at how easy it all worked out for her but now she wished it hadn't so she and Paige could've stayed in LA, their lives remaining as peaceful as it used to, at least for Alex.

At her girlfriend's mention of Piper, Alex's eyebrow immediately shot, looking at Paige with a genuine wonder on her face. "So, you two are really besties now, huh?"

"What?"

"You and her, you only met her what, about four days ago? And now you're visiting each other's places and having coffees and dinners. What's next? Sleepovers?" Alex tried to sound casual as she said this but she hated how she couldn't help the vindictiveness in her tone and how she couldn't even lie to herself about that.

Thankfully, Paige seemed too preoccupied to notice this.

"I just feel so at ease with her, you know. She seems really nice. Nope, she _actually_ is. I don't think I've been this comfortable with someone this quick. Not even with you," she smirked at Alex and the raven-haired just shrugged at this. "Is there a problem with me hanging out with her?"

Alex wanted to say yes, to tell her that they needed to stay away from Piper as possible. But there was no way she could ask her to do that without having to explain why. And even if there was a way, she couldn't stop her girlfriend to be friends with anyone, even if it was Piper Chapman, the last person she thought would ever come back in her life, the last person she _wanted_ to come back to her life.

"Nothing, it's just you trust people so easily. It doesn't hurt to get to know them first before, you know, I don't know, you get it," Alex blabbered.

Paige's forehead was creased as she tried to comprehend what Alex was trying to say, confused as to why she was being so sceptical about Piper. Sure, she noticed how tensed and awkward they were at each other's presence the first time they met but she thought it was only because it was their _first_ time meeting and that eventually, they would end up being friends, too.

"No, I honestly don't. And besides, that's what I'm doing, getting to kn—" she then paused with her forefinger raised, "...wait a minute."

"What?"

"Are you jealous of Piper?"

"What? No!" Alex shook her head profusely, the word _jealous_ too absurd and far from what she felt towards Piper right now. "I'm just looking out for you."

"Aw, hon. I'm gonna be fine. You've seen Piper, she looks like someone who wouldn't even hurt a fly."

Alex secretly snickered, wanting to shake her head at the irony of that statement. But before she could disagree with this, Paige spoke again.

"Okay, I have an idea."

She had this huge smile on her face and Alex knew her enough to know this was something she wouldn't like one bit. "Why do I feel like I'm not gonna like this idea?"

"You will. Why don't you just go over her store and be my _representative_ , huh? So, you'll get to know her, too. Just tell her I'm busy and will just visit her some other time."

"Paige..." Alex immediately said, having made a vow to herself she wouldn't ever speak to Piper unless Paige was there. She has moved on, she was convinced of that. But she was also convinced that there was no point creating another kind of relationship with Piper when the blonde had already chosen to cut her off from her life years ago.

"Please?"

Paige was looking at her with that look she couldn't ever resist but she tried to get out of this again, expecting she would fail but not wanting to give up so easily, too. "I don't think she likes me."

"What? Who wouldn't like such a charmer like you?"

 _"The kind who hated me enough to break my heart,"_ Alex thought. She decided on a different response, though, the kind that didn't have to do with Piper. Because honestly, it hadn't even been a week, but she already felt like she's had too much of the blonde, the _other_ blonde, more than she had ever hoped for. "Funny 'coz I remember you hating me the first few weeks we've known each other."

"Well, turns out there's a _very_ thin thread between love and hate," answered Paige as she gave Alex a chaste kiss on her lips. "Come on, hon. For me?"

Alex sighed, failing to come up with any idea on how to not have this conversation with Piper. "I don't like it when you use those puppy eyes on me."

"That's 'coz it works every time." Paige was smiling so genuinely at Alex and she didn't know why guilt had suddenly started crawling its way up her chest when she wasn't even doing anything. "So, you're going?"

"What if she isn't there?"

"I'm pretty sure she is, but if not, her best friend Polly would be there."

 _"Great, Holly's there, too."_ If Alex hadn't helped herself, she would've rolled her eyes at this. Polly didn't know her but Alex very well knew Piper's best friend from the blonde's stories. She's never really met her but now, seemed like she may finally meet the WASPy best friend of her WASPy ex-girlfriend and she's never been less excited in her life.

"Okay, fine. But if we ended up trying to kill each other, it's on you."

"I'll take all the blame, hon," Paige responded with a huge smile on her face, wrapping her arms around Alex as she looked at her. "So, go now."

"Now?" Alex asked, her voice a little raised. She agreed to do this thinking she'd still have time to at least think how she was going to face her, _alone,_ for the first time in years.

"Yeah, I told you I promised I'd visit her _today_."

"So? Promises are meant to be broken." Alex meant this as a joke but was surprised at how honest she felt as she said this.

Paige rolled her eyes at this as she gently pushed Alex towards the door. "Honey, just go. Don't be a pussy. If she tries to hurt you, you'll be fine. You're taller than her."

Alex chuckled as she let Paige push her lightly. "You believe in me way too much," Alex responded as she shook her head, giving Paige a peck on the cheek before she went out, breathing deeply as she prepared to break yet another promise to herself, that she'd never speak to Piper on her own ever again.

She stood for a while on the other side of Piper's store as she took a glimpse inside, not missing the blonde obviously thinking deeply as she stared straight ahead. And as she took the first step towards Popi, Alex couldn't help but think that promises were _really_ meant to be broken.

-o-o-o-

 _"Larry? You're seriously setting me up with a guy named Larry," Piper still couldn't believe that her best friend was once again setting her up with someone, more so with someone named Larry. She's been doing this for so long and no matter how Piper told her that she wasn't really interested, Polly wouldn't take no for an answer._

 _"Yeah, so?"_

 _"You do realize that the guy who had broken my heart once was named Larry, right?" Piper wanted to laugh at this, because it was obviously a joke but Polly had this look on her that told Piper it was anything but._

 _"Piper, not because he has the same name means he's also the same as your ex. Life doesn't work that way."_

 _Polly rolled her eyes and Piper did the same thing because here she was at the start of the cycle again. Polly asking, forcing, her to go out with someone, Piper obliging, Piper going on a date with a guy she couldn't be less interested in, Piper telling him she had a great time but she wasn't looking for anything beyond a first date, Piper going back to her sulky, miserable self because she couldn't get over someone she should've gotten over a long time ago, Only for the entire process to be repeated after quite some time... over and over again._

 _"I know, but how weird would it be to spend time with someone I can't even stand the name of?"_

 _"I get your point, Pipe. But would you really pass up the opportunity of meeting a great guy just because of a stupid fucking name?"_

 _"And that's exactly what I've been trying to tell you for so long, Pol. I'm not interested in meeting anyone right now. I'm happy just being single." It was the same reason Piper kept telling Polly every time she would ask why she was never interested in any guys she would set her up with. But the truth of the matter was, it was still Alex and Piper was sure that wasn't changing anytime soon._

 _But Polly didn't even know Alex existed. And Piper had no plans of ever telling her that. So she came up with that lie and it had been the same lie she was telling Polly ever since._

 _"I know that, too. But I'm not asking you to marry him, okay? It'll just be one date. And besides, I'd be there the whole time. If you really don't like him, then fine, I'll stop badgering you about it."_

 _"If I go to this date, and I end up not like him... again, you'll stop setting me up with anyone altogether?"_

 _"But..." Polly started saying but Piper cut her off before she could say another word._

 _"It's the only way I'd say yes to this date, Pol."_

 _Piper noticed how Polly seemed to give this a thought but then her best friend sighed and she knew, she had agreed even before she said anything. "Fine. I promise."_

 _"Okay. One date. I'm in." Piper then agreed without a second thought this time, confident that there was no way in hell she'd end up with a guy named Larry ever again._

-o-o-o-

It was a slower day than usual, Popi having only three customers ever since it opened hours ago. But Piper was thankful because she wasn't really in a mood to entertain anyone today, especially because she was on her own, Polly being away for a whole week with her boyfriend.

She couldn't stop looking across the street, not being able to stop herself from hoping to see a glimpse of Alex. Piper knew she shouldn't. She already felt guilty enough for having to lie to Paige and especially Larry about Alex, and she didn't want to add any more to her _mistakes_ by not having been able to stop thinking about her since they saw each other again a few days back.

She hadn't visited Litch Cafe ever since, making up an excuse to Paige about her being busy with a lot of things but that didn't stop her from staring at the place for longer than she should. She'd seen Alex a few times, mostly just hanging out with Paige or helping her with the place and more often than not, Piper would find her gaze moving some place else as Alex would do sweet little gestures towards her _girlfriend_.

It was weird having to refer to someone as Alex's girlfriend especially because all those times Piper knew her, that was her role in Alex's life. But things were different now and as much as Piper tried being in denial about it, she was jealous. And she hated that she was.

Breaking her from her thoughts, the door bell chimed signalling someone coming inside her store but before she could do her 'pleasant-for-the-customer-smile' she saw Alex strutting towards her, an air of smugness and confidence in her aura. She was wearing a white v-neck shirt that hugged her in all the right places and black leather jeans that fit her perfectly. Piper suddenly found it hard to breathe.

"Alex," the name came out of her mouth before she could stop herself, more of a whisper but Alex heard her anyway because she swore she saw Alex's body tense as she did so. "Wh-what are you doing here?"

"Paige..." the moment that name slipped from Alex's mouth, Piper felt that little jolt of pain in her chest again, suddenly finding it hard to look at Alex. "She said she told you she'd come today but she can't make it, so hence the representative." Alex stretched out her hands and Piper couldn't help but notice the new tattoo on her wrist.

Alex followed the trail of her eyes to her tattoo before ignoring the gesture and started roaming around the store, the look of curiosity in her face genuine.

"Popi..."

"What?"

"You called it Popi. So I guess I didn't really change your mind about that, huh?"

Piper couldn't talk for a bit because, of course, Alex remembered. Piper have had this idea for her store's name for quite some time and Alex always teased her about how _ugly_ it was. Before deciding on this, she almost followed Alex's advice to change it to something else but thinking she shouldn't be doing anything based on what Alex said years ago anymore, she had chosen to still use it.

"Yeah well, Polly wanted it, too. So..."

Alex nodded, a smile adorning her face. Piper wondered if it was genuine. She wondered whether there was anything else Alex remembered about their relationship before. She wondered why she was acting like everything was okay, and wondered if it was really just _acting_ or she really was _okay_.

But then Piper realized that it had been four years, that Alex had surely moved on, and if having a girlfriend wasn't enough proof for that, this action from Alex surely was. She didn't seem affected by Piper anymore, or anything else that had to do with her. And Piper wished she wasn't, too. But she was, which just made it clear how hardly stuck she still was in the past.

Alex remained quiet for the next few minutes, looking at Popi's products the whole time. Piper used this as her opportunity to study Alex, how much she had changed, and how much she _hadn't_.

The confidence was still there. The way she commanded anyone's attention, without deliberately doing so, the moment she entered a place. The way she walked like there was _nothing_ she could ever do. The usual smirk, the cocking of eyebrows, the way she adjusted her glasses, those were all the same way Piper remembered them to be.

But the blue tips in her hair were obviously not there anymore. She had new tattoos, which even made Piper think whether she had other tattoos in place Piper couldn't see. And that seemed to be the end of all the changes Piper noticed.

And _Paige_ , of course. That was the biggest change of all. And the one that mattered the most.

"So Larry, huh?" Alex suddenly said, making Piper jump a little. If she noticed that, she didn't show any sign of it. "Either you were too naive to go back to that guy who broke your heart or you have this weird connection with guys named Larry. Either way, it doesn't work that well on your side. So which is it?"

"It's a different Larry. It seems like fate has a funny way of reintroducing itself to me... over and _over_ again," Piper chuckled lightly, forgetting that she was supposed to be putting her guards up with Alex. But this was Alex, and Piper wasn't sure why but she always had this way of putting Piper at ease, the first time they met after four years being the sole exception.

"So you consider meeting him _fate_?" There was the eyebrow raise again, and Piper knew she was being _judged_. But how could she have stopped herself from liking someone named Larry again? She remembered that conversation she had with Polly and it really would have been stupid not giving it a try with him just for that reason.

"What else would it be?"

"Right," Alex responded, nodding to this. "I hope he's not the same asshole though."

Piper didn't want to dwell on it too much but she couldn't help but notice the protective side of Alex she used to see all the time, and suddenly, she was that same person who did everything she could for her not to get hurt. "He's not. He's the best."

Once again, Alex just nodded as she fixed her glasses. "Good for you." For a few seconds, Piper stared back at Alex as Alex stared at her, not understanding why she was doing that. But Alex breathed deeply as she looked away, before looking back at her again after a split second. "Anyway, I should get going. I really just had to come here in behalf of Paige."

Disappointment swelled in Piper's chest, not wanting Alex to leave just yet. It wasn't the most comfortable situation but having Alex around made her feel like the old times, and those were the best times she had had all her life.

But it wasn't the old times anymore and Piper knew better than to feel this way. So she faked another smile, as she nodded. "Yeah, of course."

Alex once again looked around before turning back to Piper, "I'm really happy for you. I'm glad you finally made your dream come true."

The way Alex said it was so genuine that Piper suddenly felt like she was going to start crying. She hurt Alex, she's probably broken her in pieces before so she shouldn't have been this genuinely happy for her, not after what Piper had done. She didn't deserve that from her anymore.

But despite the time that had passed, Piper still knew Alex enough and she knew that she wasn't lying even in the slightest bit when she said it. And Piper was grateful for it. "Th-thanks, Alex."

Alex just shrugged before turning her back on Piper. But before she could take another step, she faced Piper again. "And Piper... Paige really likes you. You're her first friend in this place and I really don't wanna ruin that for her." Alex paused, seemingly thinking on what she'd say next. "So I'd really appreciate it if you kept pretending that you don't know me, that you never did."

Piper wasn't at all surprised with this request, even grateful for it, so she nodded without any doubt. "Sure."

"Yeah, and besides, that's something you're really good at anyway, right?" Alex smiled and Piper felt as if she's been stabbed a thousand times.

But before could think of something to say in return, Alex was out of her store, making her think that _maybe_ , Alex was also still stuck with her in the _past_.

-o-o-o-

 **SHOUTOUTS:**

Thank you for the amazing responses to the first chapter. You're all awesome. =)

 **Guest (just re-read...),** Aw, thank you so much for that, it warmed my heart that you think I'm an amazing writer. I hope I don't disappoint you with this one. =)

 **izzielg,** Sorry the update wasn't as soon as you might have liked it to be but here it is and I hope you liked it. Thank you =)

 **RJVause,** Thank you so much for that review, and yes I'll explore more of what happened to Piper and Alex in my flashbacks. =)

 **Guest (OMG),** Thank you for that suggestion, haha. And I'm glad you loved the first chapter. Thank you, too, 'coz you brought the Larry part to my attention. I kind of forgot about Larry in Oblivion hence, the mistake but I just turned it into something else and I hope it worked. If not, that would really suck. Haha, but again, thanks! =)

 **FFChik,** That's a very insightful observation and we'd be exploring more of that in the future chapters. I'm happy you're still with me and my stories. Thank you for that wonderful review! =)

 **SeriouslyAwesome,** Yeah, Vauseman. You know how they are. Haha. Thank you! =)

 **Kojojo,** Hahaha, maybe. But I'm glad you like Paige, I like her, too. Haha. Thank you for that review! =)

 **Guest (this kind of...),** Don't worry, I have no plans in making Piper a villain here, nor Alex. Thank you, I'm glad you liked Oblivion and I hope you like this one, too. =)

 **JessTerr,** Thank you, I'm happy you liked it! =)

 **OzisOz,** I'm happy, too, and mainly because you're still here reading my stories! I won't promise no tissues at all but the angst will definitely not be like the one in Shattered. Haha. Thank you for that wonderful review! =)

 **jomichael03,** Hey there my friend! And yes, I am back. Haha. I'm so sorry it took a while but life isn't kind sometimes =) I'm happy you're still here with me, I missed interacting with you. Thank you so much! =)

 **Oitnbisamaze,** It's going to be a multi-chapter, maybe as long as Shattered but I'm not sure yet. Lol. Thanks! =)

 **VauseSearch,** I'm glad you liked it! Thank you =)

 **lia,** I'm glad you think so! Thank you very much! =)

 **WB79,** And I'm glad you're still here with me! Thank you so much =))

 **Guest15,** I'm really happy that you liked it! Thank you so much. And you're welcome, thanks for taking time to read my stories. =)

 **Guest (please update...),** Sorry the update didn't come sooner but here it is! =)

 **Guest (PLS),** Here it is! Sorry I made you wait for quite some time. =(

 **jjarjen,** Here's the update, sorry it took time. =(

 **MS982,** Here's chapter 2 now and I hope you liked it! I'm truly sorry for the long wait. =(

 **Bellacjh,** I'm definitely continuing this, I just really had a lot going on the past few weeks that I couldn't find time to write. Thank you for patiently waiting! =)

 **Guest (Hey),** I'm so sorry about the long wait! And I'm glad you like the Piper angst in Shattered. This fic won't be as angsty but there'll certainly be moments of slight angst. =)

 **Guest (I really liked),** Thank you! And that was actually a mistake I didn't realize until you guys pointed it out and I apologize =( So I just decided to incorporate it in the story and I hope it worked.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:**

Someone in the reviews mentioned how horrible I am in updating this story so I decided to give it another shot, and more than a year later here I am with a new, shorter tan usual, chapter. So thank you to that person, you're the reason for this. =)

Still trying to get back to writing so I hope this doesn't disappoint much. Sorry for the errors I missed if there are any!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters.

 **3**

Piper wasn't at all surprised that sleep once again evaded her that night, not being able to stop thinking about Alex's last words to her today. Piper wasn't sure if Alex said that to intentionally hurt her but if she did, it totally worked. Her words stung and as much as Piper tried to just forget about it, it kept replaying in her head, the next time it did more painful than the one before.

She's been so convinced that Alex had gotten over it. With the way she acted that day, for however short that little interaction was, Alex seemed to have mastered playing it cool no matter the situation was. To be fair, that had always been her ever since Piper knew her. So she really shouldn't have been surprised anymore with how their first meeting _alone_ after they parted ways ended up.

But whether she's gotten over it or not, there was one thing Piper was sure of. And that was Alex still hadn't forgiven her.

How could she? For years, Piper's kept her like her dirty little secret when all she should have done was flaunt her to the world and show everyone that she had the most perfect, or someone closest to perfection, at least, girlfriend in the world. She hadn't fought for her. And then in the end, she abandoned her.

And up until this day, Piper knew that it was still the biggest regret in her life. She knew it shouldn't be. She should be thinking that in the end, it all worked out well for both of them anyway. Alex had Paige now, and the woman obviously loved her. And she had Larry now, and he loved her, too. But instead, Piper couldn't stop thinking how misplaced everything right now felt.

Stupid, really. What a goddamned dumb thing to think.

Alex had clearly moved on. Whether or not she'd forgiven Piper, she's at a new place in her life now. Something she chose, with someone who chose her.

But what about Piper? Was this really the life she wanted for herself? Was _Larry_ finally the one she would choose over anything and anyone else? If yes, then why couldn't she let the thought of Alex go?

Piper most probably knew the answers to these questions. But she wouldn't admit it to herself. No, that's not what she did. What she did was compartmentalize, and choose to deal with whatever had so little importance it wouldn't matter if she fucked it up or not. And the more important matters? She chose to ignore them, chose to pretend they didn't exist until eventually, maybe, they would get sorted out themselves. And in the end, _maybe_ , she would be okay. Everything would be okay.

That's what she was good at.

So that's what she was going to do.

-o-o-o-

Piper was jotting down her itinerary for the day when she felt like someone was putting holes to her head, and true enough, when she raised her head, she saw Polly looking at her very strangely. "What? Is there something wrong with my face?"

Not answering immediately, Polly still looked at her as if she was scrutinizing something. "Did you cry last night?"

"What? Why would you think that?"

"Your eyes are puffy. And you look like you're on drugs."

"Wow, thank you, my beautiful-looking best friend, whom I think is goddamned gorgeous every day. Apparently, you don't feel the same way." Piper rolled her eyes, sporting a pretend-offense to steer Polly away from what she was obviously gonna go into in about a few seconds.

"You know me. And besides, best friends are supposed to be honest to each other. Or else, no one would ever say the truth anymore." Polly shrugged, walking towards Piper before sitting right in front of her. "So? What happened?"

"Nothing happened, I just couldn't sleep. I made the mistake of drinking coffee before going to bed so that's why."

"So nothing happened with Larry?"

Piper sighed before fixing Polly with a look. "Why are you always assuming that _something_ happened with Larry?"

"More like _wishing_ , to be honest. Because Pipe, we both know _nothing_ is actually happening to him."

"Jesus, you're really not letting that go, are you?"

But before Polly could affirm Piper's thought, they both heard the unmistakable sound of a new person coming in and as Piper saw who it was, she finally accepted that her luck today was gonna be a no-show.

"Hey, Paige!" It was Polly, and for the first time today, Piper was grateful of her existence. She still didn't know how to face her new _friend_ , and so she was glad that Polly was there with them. "Here to buy soaps, hopefully? Piper's face had been fending off customers all day."

"Hey!" Piper smacked Polly in the arm causing Paige to laugh at them.

"Why, what happened?" Paige was looking at her now, and Piper had the sudden urge to look elsewhere but she didn't wanna look suspicious. _Not_ that she did anything wrong. Except lie to her about knowing Alex, anyway. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, just lack of sleep," Piper forced a smile and hoped to god it wasn't that obvious that it wasn't a genuine one. "What brought you here, by the way? Anything we can help you with?"

"Actually I wanted to come see you because I haven't seen you for days. And I sent Alex here last night but she wouldn't tell me shit about how it went."

"Alex?" Polly was looking at Piper with a questioning look on her face.

"Her girlfriend," Piper said softly, still unable to say that phrase without feeling that sting in her chest every time she did.

"Oh right! You haven't had the chance to meet her yet, I'm sorry. Do you want to, tomorrow night? I mean, you guys could bring your partners with you and we can all have dinner. I'd love to do it tonight but Alex and I already kinda made plans."

 _Alex and I_. Well. If that didn't hurt.

But Piper couldn't really dwell on that much right now.

Because dinner with Alex and Paige _and_ Larry was the last thing Piper wanted. Right about now, she would rather have dinner with Larry's parents and have them judge everything she did than have those three people in the same room, on the same table. But she's been dodging Paige for days and it was harder to say no to her in person, without Polly sensing something was going on.

"Oh god, I'd love to, trust me, but right now, there is no partner to bring on my part and I really doubt being a fifth wheel would be fun. No offense."

"What?" Piper asked, feeling the sinking feeling in her stomach much, much worse now that Polly couldn't be there. "What happened to that guy?"

"Piper, the fact that you're referring him as 'that guy' means you don't know his name which means I never told you it which means—"

"-you had no intentions to make it last longer than two weeks." There was no way she could stand that dinner without throwing up, Piper knew that by now, so she was no longer a part of this conversation. Instead, her mind was working hard to figure out how to get out of the dinner without sounding suspicious.

"So, I'm really sorry, Paige. Next time, I swear. I won't miss it next time."

"Aw," Paige said and she looked genuinely sad. "Are you sure you really don't wanna come?"

"I do. But, nothing against you guys... just happy couples, ugh."

Paige laughed but it was the last thing Piper wanted to do. Because to be honest, she wanted to cry. Like a fucking baby.

"Okay fine, so it's just gonna be you and me, Piper? Plus Alex and Larry?"

"Piper!" Polly then nudged her bringing her back to them. "Jesus, you might need coffee if you want to function properly today. Paige asked you a question?"

"Yes! Of course. Yeah, that would be... yes, dinner. With Larry. And _Alex._ I can't wait."

Truth be told, she could wait until the day she'd take her last breath.

"Great! This is gonna be fun!"

-o-o-o-

Alex and Paige were having dinner and all Alex could think about was how she'd already brought Piper to this place before. She let Paige decide, usually she liked being in control but when her girlfriend mentioned wanting to dine out, she was too preoccupied with her previous encounter with Piper to think about anything else.

And that was already the third mistake she's done ever since she saw Piper again.

First one was saying that last thing she said to Piper before she left her store. She'd been doing good, showing Piper that she wasn't affecting her anymore, that the past didn't affect her anymore. And she could see it in Piper's eyes that she was surprised by this.

But the dumbass in her just _had_ to say that shit. One would think by now she's already learned her lesson. Turned out there were some things you'd never get to learn no matter how long the time passed. Maybe Piper was that lesson in Alex's life.

Except Piper didn't feel like a lesson. Up to this point, she still felt like Alex's biggest mistake.

"So, you better look hot tomorrow night."

Alex knew that Paige have already had a couple of stories mentioned to her already during their entire dinner but she couldn't force herself to pay attention. She felt bad, it made her realize how much of an asshole she still was but this was something out of her control. She _hated_ it but Piper obviously still had that hold on her.

Fuck her, really.

"Don't I always?" she asked, trying at least to banter so Paige wouldn't suspect anything. Not that she hasn't, she's already asked her if something was bothering her twice today.

"Okay, smug. I mean, _extra_ hot then. We're having dinner with Piper and Larry."

And _finally_ , Alex's attention had been caught.

"We're doing what now?"

"Dinner. With Piper and Larry. I went by her place earlier and I made plans with her."

 _"And you didn't think I'd have a say in this?"_ was the immediate question that crossed Alex's mind but instead, she asked a different one. "And she agreed?"

"She did. Why wouldn't she?" Paige looked at her like it was the most absurd thing to ask, and since she didn't know anything, that wasn't really surprising.

"Nothing. I mean, it's just... her boyfriend doesn't really know us and all that." But Paige was still looking at her like she wasn't convinced of her answer. "What?"

"Are you sure you're okay? Seriously, you've been so disoriented today it's starting to worry me."

"I'm fine. You just worry a lot."

"Can you blame me?"

"I'm sorry. I just feel... tired. And I'm still getting used to all of this, you know. But other than that, I'm okay, I swear. I'm sorry if I worried you." Alex then took Paige's hand and kissed it lightly, a smile on her girlfriend's face immediately forming.

Paige was too sweet, she was too good for Alex to be thinking about someone else while they were having dinner. To be lying to her deliberately. She kept making herself believe that she was doing it to protect her. But she knew that it was because she really didn't want to deal with whatever happened with Piper in the past anymore. That was over, and there was no way in hell she was gonna let it affect her present.

But she's doing one hell of a terrible job about it.

"Okay. But promise you'll tell me if something else comes up?"

"I promise."

Swallowing hard, Alex thought of the first thing that came to mind as she let out these words. _Promises are meant to be broken._

"Thanks, baby. So, about that dinner? I told Piper we can do it at home, tomorrow at 8 o'clock. Be nice, okay?"

Breathing deeply, Alex already felt more stressed than usual. "When have I ever not?"

-o-o-o-

 _"Tell me why I made you do this again?"_

 _Piper was, very reluctantly, changing her clothes while Alex watched her as she sat up in bed. She was reading a book but willingly stopped it when Piper started removing her clothes to change into something more appropriate for dinner outside._

 _Dreadful dinner. With her parents._

 _"Because you love me and you know that you can never say no to me. And also because you can't postpone this dinner with your parents anymore, babe. If you do it, I'm pretty sure they're gonna send a search party to look for your ass already."_

 _This dinner had been planned for a while and Piper made Alex promise to make her go whatever happens. And ever the dutiful girlfriend, Alex did exactly that._

 _Piper was so ready to make love, or fuck, based on her out of control libido that Alex seemed to have effortlessly gotten out of her, when Alex stopped, reminding her that she had to go somewhere. Of course Piper didn't care. How could she when Alex, who was half-naked by the way, had her hand so dangerously close to the apex of her thighs, her mouth so close to her ear, every breath a tickle to one of Piper's most sensitive spots._

 _But Alex had other plans, she held out on her, not doing anything except make Piper go crazy by_ _ **not**_ _doing anything. Unless Piper promised she'd change afterwards and go to the dinner she planned with her parents._

 _And oh well Piper was about ready to explode and she was past that point where she could think clearly so she said yes, she would go. And so here she was._

 _"You know that's a very cruel thing to do?"_

 _"What, making you come three times before you go have dinner with your parents who have no idea that you're doing so many homosexual activities now?" Alex cocked an eyebrow at her, that thing she did that Piper found so very sexy and it took every ounce of her control not to jump her right there._

 _"Holding out on me 'til you got what you want," Piper smiled as she shook her head, a smile forming on her lips._

 _"I had to, babe, technically you made me do it."_

 _"Yeah, yeah. Next time maybe find another less frustrating way to do it, okay?"_

 _"I'll try. But no promises, that was fun."_

 _When Piper finished changing, she had felt her anxiety kick in again. She really didn't wanna see her parents, not when she was having a great day, not when she so certain they were gonna ruin that again._

 _"Hey," Alex had by now stood in front of her, rubbing her arms up and down in a soothing way. "You're gonna be fine, just try to tune them out if you can. Don't take whatever they say by heart. It doesn't matter what they think of you because whatever it is, it's most definitely wrong. Think about what I think of you."_

 _"And that would be?" Piper asked, by now wrapped by Alex's arms, her anxiety disappearing into thin air._

 _"Well, I think you're hot. And so, so sexy when you make that sound whenever I do that thing with my tongue—"_

 _Piper disentangled herself from Alex and was met by her girlfriend's mischievous grin._

 _"Are you trying to convince me to go to this dinner or are you making me stay? Coz I'm startingto think it's the latter."_

 _"I'm kidding, come on," Alex extended her arms and Piper went back to being hugged by her. "I mean, of course I also mean those things but right now, what I want you to remember is that I think you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen and that you're amazing and that you are so much more than everyone thinks you are. And I don't just think that, I know it. So you should, too. Okay?"_

 _"Why are you so good to me?" Piper whispered, her voice muffled as her lips were pressed against Alex's collarbones._

 _"Because it's what you deserve."_

 _Piper felt warmth rise to her chest and suddenly, she's forgotten about everything else except Alex. "I love you, Al. Thank you."_

 _"I love you, too. Now go, before your mom bites your head off for being late."_

 _Reluctantly, Piper once again disentangled herself from Alex. "Okay. Wait for me 'til I get home?"_

 _"Always."_

-o-o-o-

"So you really wanna go to dinner tomorrow night?"

"Yes, I don't remember the last time we've had a night out with another couple. Polly doesn't seem to be so keen on double dates that much."

"Didn't you make plans with any friends or something?"

"Uh, not that I remember."

Piper stayed quiet for a while, still not giving up on thinking of a way to get out of this dinner. Thankfully, Larry was busy writing another article that he didn't seem to notice this was what she was doing.

"Don't you have that dinner thing with your parents tomorrow night? I mean, I can just tell Paige we can do it another time? I'm sure she wouldn't mind."

"Pipes, I already had that dinner the other night, remember? What's wrong, don't you wanna have this dinner with your new friend and her boyfriend?"

That reminded Piper that she hadn't actually mentioned to Larry that Paige's boyfriend was actually a _girlfriend_. She didn't know why she couldn't. It wasn't like he was gonna realize she had one, too, the same one actually, the moment the world girlfriend would leave her lips.

But she had to now, or else Larry was gonna have a hell of a surprise tomorrow night, and probably a lot more questions about why Piper left this important part.

"Uh, girlfriend."

"What?" Larry finally stopped doing what he was doing as he looked at Piper.

"Alex is a girl."

To Piper's surprise, Larry actually had an impressed look on his face. "Nice! I've never met a lesbian couple. I hope he doesn't look more manly than me though, coz that would be... awkward."

Piper had to force herself not roll her eyes at the immediate stereotyping Larry made. Sometimes he could be so dumb it irritated Piper to bits. "No, she's not. Not all gays look the same way you think they do, Larry."

"What do you mean?"

"Never mind, just see for yourself tomorrow," Piper said, dismissing the conversation. She didn't know why she was suddenly getting irritated at Larry. She wasn't sure if it was because he looked so excited for dinner that it was now more likely _not_ to get cancelled or if it was because she would be seeing him with Alex tomorrow, and no doubt see how much _more_ Alex was than Larry ever would.

She knew she was being unfair to him. He was a good guy. But she couldn't help it. She couldn't help anything when it came to Alex nowadays.

When she realized this was final, that she was gonna have probably the worst night of her life tomorrow night, Piper suddenly felt exhausted. So she stood up and headed towards their room. "Tomorrow night it is," she whispered more to herself than to Larry.

"What was that?" he asked, his attention back to his laptop once again.

"Nothing, I'm going to bed. You're gonna stay here?" Piper asked, hoping that he would say yes. She wanted a moment to herself, to think about what she would do tomorrow.

"Yeah, I'm just gonna finish this and I'll follow you."

"Okay," Piper then stopped before walking towards Larry and kissed him on the cheek. "Good night."

"I love you."

"Love you, too, Lar."

Without meaning to, Piper wondered whether she still really felt this way or was only now just saying it out of obligation. And suddenly, she was feeling worse than she's ever felt in a long while.

-o-o-o-

Way too soon, it was only a few hours before the dinner that Piper was dreading. She was almost panicking now, almost close to pretending to be sick just so she'd have a reason to miss it. But then she also realized, if not today, soon she's still gonna have to face Alex this way, anyway. So maybe it was better to just get it over and done with.

She and Polly were closing up their store for the day and she knew Polly was telling her something but she was too out of it to really pay attention.

"Okay, so I murdered my own mother and my father helped me bury her body."

"Who got buried?" Piper absentmindedly asked Polly who was now rolling her eyes at her.

"Jesus, Piper, what is going on? And don't tell me nothing 'cause I swear I'd hit you in the head."

Sighing, Piper shook her head, really not in the mood to do this with her best friend right now. "Pol, I swear I'll tell you but not right now okay? Not today."

"Why, what's with today?" Before Piper could answer, Polly spoke again. "Wait a minute."

"What?"

"You've started acting that way ever since Paige's girlfriend arrived. And now, you're more disoriented than usual 'coz you and Larry are gonna have dinner with both of them. Did she do something to you? Oh my god she hit on you, didn't she?"

"What, Polly no, that's—" Piper rubbed her forehead with her thumb and forefinger, suddenly feeling an upcoming headache. "She didn't hit on me." _She probably wants to hit me, is more like it,_ Piper thought afterwards.

"Really?" Polly asked, still looking skeptic. "Because she seems like someone who are good with the ladies. I bet she's got a lot of side chicks Paige is unaware of—"

"Alex is _not_ like that, okay?" Piper felt her temper rise at the judgment Polly had made on Alex, unable to realize that this is not exactly someone who didn't know someone would say.

Polly looked surprised at Piper's reaction but probably out of all the times she'd seen her with an outburst, she got over it pretty quickly. "Okay, Pipe, for someone who's only met this Alex person, you're awfully protective of her. If I didn't know you, I'd probably think _you're_ her side chick."

Piper then tried to calm herself, suddenly feeling very annoyed at her temper, and also at Polly. She just had to know how to press the right buttons. "I just mean, we shouldn't judge people based on their looks only. And wait a minute you haven't even met her, how could you say that?"

"I saw her actually, today. I went to get coffee at Litch and she was there."

"Wh—she was? How did she look? I mean, did she look nervous to you?" At the confused look Polly gave Piper, she halted her questions. "...or something? I mean, what do you think of her? Aside from the very judgmental opinion you already gave out earlier."

"You are a very weird person, do you know that?"

"I've been told."

"But anyway, I didn't see her much. I just saw her in passing. Why do you care what I think of her anyway? She's not our friend, Paige is. And why would she look nervous?"

"I'm just making conversation, Polly. Look, I have to go home and get ready. I really don't wanna be late to this dinner. Are you sure you're really not gonna come?"

"You know what, I'm so close to changing my mind just because I'm very curious how you're gonna get through this dinner in that state. But no, my vendetta against happy couples still wins."

"Ugh, fine. I'll still you tomorrow then?"

"Yes, with details please."

Rolling her eyes, Piper turned her back on Polly as she hailed a cab, thinking the same thing Polly was wondering about a while ago. How on earth would she survive this dinner in this state?

-o-o-o-

Ever since Paige told her about the dinner that's about to happen in about an hour, she's been trying to convince herself that it wasn't bothering her, that it was just gonna be a simple dinner with two new friends and that there was no reason for her to go crazy thinking about it.

But this wasn't going to be a simple dinner. And she wasn't having it with _just_ two new friends. She was sharing it with her not-so new girlfriend together with her old girlfriend who had abandoned her years ago and her probably-not-so-new boyfriend, too.

It was awkward, to say the least. And it sucked more that she had to pretend that it wasn't. Especially in front of Piper who was most likely feeling this way, too.

She didn't wanna ruin this, especially for Paige. She had been so excited, doing everything from grocery shopping to making dinner to making the house look presentable. Just because she wanted for this to be successful. Because she wanted to make new friends.

So Alex needed to focus on what's important. And Paige was it. She's the one important. She's it _now_. Not anyone or anything else.

And most definitely not _Piper_. Not anymore. Not ever again.

-o-o-o-

"Are you okay, you seem nervous?" Larry asked Piper as they walked towards Paige's apartment.

Piper really thought she was hiding it well. She had drunk more than enough wine to calm her nerves, to the point that she's starting to actually feel tipsy. And confident that it was what she was good at the most, _pretending_ , she hadn't thought that Larry would notice it.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just... I mean, I don't really know her girlfriend and I'm thinking it would be horrible if she ends up not liking us... I really want Paige to be my friend."

"Come on, babe. You are the nicest person Paige could have asked for as a friend. I'm sure her girlfriend would see that. And if she doesn't, well it's her loss, really."

Piper forced a smile, Larry's words not really helping with her anxiety. Not realizing it sooner, they had stopped walking and she looked at Larry with a questioning look on her face.

"Why'd we stop?"

"Because we're here. No. 27 right? That's their apartment's number? We're here."

And true enough, Piper was stood in front of a door, the number 27 plastered on it.

"So, you ready?"

 _NO!_ Piper felt like something inside her brain was screaming at her, and her heart was hammering so fast she thought her chest was gonna split wide open. "Y-yeah, of course."

But there was no backing out now. So before Piper could run away, or throw up, whichever would come first (both seemingly possible at the moment) she raised her hand and rang the doorbell.

It felt like an eternity, waiting for the door to open.

But then it did, and soon enough, she wasn't just facing a door anymore.

There she was, Paige with a huge smile on her face, saying something that Piper didn't really understand. Because her attention was elsewhere. It was on Alex, who was standing behind her, giving Piper a piercing look that she had no idea what it meant, looking like the goddess that Piper always thought her to be.

Suddenly, Piper forgot Larry. She even forgot Paige.

All she saw was Alex. The Alex who most probably didn't give a crap about her anymore. The Alex she used to love, or still loved?

And by then, she knew.

She was truly, and royally, fucked.

-o-o-o-

 **A/N:**

 **Guest (omg please update already?),** the very, very long wait is over, my friend. Hope you like this one!

 **Guest (I love Piper-meets-up-with-Alex),** I don't know if you're still with me but I think you've waited long enough for that kiss haha, I'm so sorry! =(

 **Guest (The Larry name),** Thank you, I'm glad it did! I'm sorry that this did take too long =( But thank you for that review!

 **VonZeppy,** I'm glad you think so, and thank you for rereading Oblivion!

 **Sarah,** Those are such nice words to say, thank you so much!

 **WB79,** Lots of things, hopefully you're still tuned in. Haha.

 **Guest (Love it!),** Thank you so much, I hope you love this as well. =)

 **Oitnbisamaze,** And I'm sorry I went away again. =( Thank you!

 **JessTerr,** Thank you, that was such a wonderful review. I suck so much at updating this so I'm really sorry.

 **Luveverythingtv,** You'll find out in the next chapters (if you can wait some more and if you're still reading this, tbh) I'm sorry this took so long to update.

 **RJVause,** I'm glad you liked the flashback, I try to incorporate some in every chapter. And also, thanks for the comment on that last scene with Alex and Piper, that means a lot =)

 **prooffice,** I hope you're still sticking to it a year later though! =( Haha.

 **FFChik,** She did, didn't she? Haha. Thank you! =)

 **Guest (As good as your stories),** I'm so sorry I suck so much at updating =(

 **izzielg,** And thank you for entertaining me with such pleasant reviews! =) Sorry this update didn't come sooner, though.

 **Guest15,** You will definitely see a plot development and I hope you'd like it! Thank you, I'm glad you loved the previous chapter.

 **Guest (LOVED IT),** Thank you so much! I'm so sorry for the super delayed update =(

 **Jen** , Thank you, that was such a sweet comment and I'm glad you loved it!

 **Guest (It's so obvious),** Ahhh, thank you! I always love detailed reviews! I'm gonna do everything I can not to abandon this story, updating is just kinda hard because life, ugh. So apologies for that!

 **Guest (Secret Love Song),** Haha, I'm glad that song reminded you of this fic! It's one of my favourites! Sorry this update took too long =(

 **Guest (Wow!),** "super gifted writer" omg that's one of the best compliments I've ever received, thank you so much!

 **Erin,** I don't understand Spanish but I'm gonna guess you mean, "Please update soon?" hahaha if yes, then I'm sorry this update didn't happen "soon" =( And I'm guessing you're the same Erin who left another review in another language, I'm so sorry I don't understand =(

 **IloveSweden,** Those are such sweet words, thank you so much. I'm sorry for the lack of updates =(

 **Guest27, Guest (update pls!), Schwanie16,** Here it is, sorry it took long! =(

 **Guest (Hello just reading this),** Thank you so much, I feel grateful that you reread it, and I'm sorry it took so long but I'm gonna try really hard to update this as much and as soon as I can.


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